he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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