That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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