So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
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