from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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