Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
