God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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