I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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