Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
