she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize