i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Your topless pictures make me question reality
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
