I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
