listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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