you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
