i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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