He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
