i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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