she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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