Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
