My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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