I think I won the penis lottery.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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