If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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