hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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