they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Randomize
