i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Randomize
