What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
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