I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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