Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
