Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
