you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Randomize
