Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
bring money and cleavage
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
I need a beard to bite.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Randomize
