last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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