i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
