so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
