I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize