Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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