Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
