Plan B is the new Plan A
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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