There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
