i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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