3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize