I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
