Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
pop tarts are not kleenex
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
