I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
