but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Randomize
