my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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