Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
