I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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