just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
