mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
