I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
