what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
