East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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