dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
this hospital has no fireball
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
