Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
