I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize