I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
