Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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