I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
