My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize