what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
