He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize