I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
