it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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