I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize