is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Randomize
