I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
