This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I could make wine with my vomit
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
