if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We just shotgunned beers for America
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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