you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
