Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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