drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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