...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
