i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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