Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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