Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
