i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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