LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
