the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
