im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
