Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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