whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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